Rap star Sean “Diddy” Combs has told a U.S. judge he sometimes feels he would be “better off dead” as he awaits sentencing for his crimes.
In a four-page letter to Judge Arun Subramanian, the once-flamboyant billionaire described his guilt and regrets while living in a crowded, windowless cell with 25 other inmates.
“I have to admit, my downfall was rooted in my selfishness… there have been days I thought I would be better off dead,” Combs wrote. “The old me died in jail and a new version of me was reborn. Prison will change you or kill you – I choose to live.”
Prosecutors are pushing for more than 11 years in prison, saying Combs’ wealth enabled his crimes. But the music mogul is asking for a lighter sentence of 14 months, saying prison has humbled him.
Combs also admitted the viral footage of him assaulting his former partner, Cassie Ventura, “plays over and over in my head daily.” “I was dead wrong for putting my hands on the woman I loved,” he wrote.
In his letter, Combs described “inhumane” conditions in prison, including broken washing machines, dirty water, constant fear of violence, and no sunlight. “We eat, sleep, use the toilet, take showers, and prepare meals all in the same room,” he said.
He added that he has lost his businesses, his career, and missed important moments in his children’s lives while in jail. “I have failed my children as a father,” he admitted.
Prosecutors are also seeking a $500,000 fine along with the prison term.
